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It's Feelings Friday!
 The topic is health... Mental Health. *James Bond voice* I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder shortly after my first monster exited my body. I had postpartum depression and I was full time breastfeeding/pumping, working full time substitute teaching, and getting my BA in educational studies. Honey I was TIED! A friend suggested I see a therapist (shoutout to Dr. B!) that specializes in birth trauma and postpartum depression. I have been seeing her for 4 years now. Knowing that I have anxiety is a gift and a struggle at the same time. Knowing that it comes from childhood trauma that went unresolved FUCKING SUCKS but it's apart of the process. Understanding that I was abused in my marriage and where certain triggers come from is necessary for my growth. All of this to say... Face your fucking demons and see them for who they are. Once I saw what was chasing me I could stop running. I am not saying I am cured and everything is great all the time. I am saying that knowing why I ge anxious gives me a way to know what tools I use to battle it. If you are struggling with mental health issues, please seek help from a trained professional to get support on your journey *blows kiss*  Meditation and Spirituality create balance. Let's say it all together kids... "Balance is necessary." I am up at 6 am every day... Ok you caught me! My alarm is set for 6am and I definitely snooze it every day. But I am working on it! MIND YA BIDNIZ! I digress...  I am a routine kinda gal. I love structure in my day. So here's how my morning goes:
 This routine helps me keep balance of my day. I start my day in control and present in the moment. Now I am working on my evening routine. I need to make sure that I am creating a mental health sandwich. One slice of bread is the morning routine. The vegan meat in the middle is the normal day to day bullshit that I will navigate using my tools. I utilize deep breathing, taking breaks, and staying present in the moment to handle daily triggers. Then we have the other piece of bread which is the evening routine. I need to shake of the day and cleanse myself of any residual negative energy. * I'll create a separate post to talk more about stretching and meditation for mental health in another post.* Natural remedies and Holistic options. When I first started seeing the doc, I told her I didn't want to take meds after I was diagnosed with anxiety. You know how that goes... You don't want to become dependent on pills. She suggested I start out with dandelion root tea. Dandelion root tea. My therapist explained that because I had just had a c-section, was breastfeeding, in school, and working full time, my adrenal glands were over worked. Read this excerpt from Michael Lam, MD, MPH "Over the years, the extracts of the dandelion root have been shown to contain vitamins A, B, C, and D, as well as minerals, such as iron, zinc, and potassium; all of which are of supportive importance to the adrenal gland. If the adrenal gland is constantly activated and lacks the optimal vitamins and minerals, its efficiency at making the vital hormones to fight fatigue declines rapidly and can be rewarded by dandelion root tea benefits." Read more on Adrenal Fatigue here: www.drlamcoaching.com/blog/dandelion-root-tea-benefits-in-adrenal-fatigue/ I would drink the tea every morning on the way to work. After about two weeks of of the tea, I could feel that I was much more calm. I went back to drinking the tea recently in the mornings and I can feel my body physically relaxing. Drinking the tea and taking the Valerian root drops are truly tools I need to manage my stress. Part of my evening routine is drinking a nighttime tea. This is when me and the kids are tucked into bed. This tea is so good and calming and mmmmmm... Seriously at the end of the cup I can barely keep my eyes open! It lulls me into a gentle sleep that is amazing. Look at the ingredients in this tea Chamomile, spearmint, lemongrass, natural French vanilla flavor, tilia flowers, blackberry leaves, orange blossoms, hawthorn and rosebuds. Delicious! If you have anxiety and are wanting more natural and holistic ways to help manage your stress, I suggest trying these out. DISCLAIMER! Please do your own research and consult a professional if you need more assistance. Check out the links below for the products I mentioned.
  Self-care is self-love. I am focusing more on what makes me happy. If I am happy, content, and balanced with myself, everything else will fall into place. When I am balanced, I am a better mom. I am less anxious and more open with my beebeez. A balanced lavynder is a better partner. I will be less emotionally exhausted and can have more to emotional and energy to pour into my partners. Balance makes helps me to be more creative. I can freely think without stress of "what if?".  Self-care these days looks like a lot of different things for me. It mostly involves working on the inner me. I am more focused on spending time with myself so I can listen to my intuition. When I can quiet my mind, I can focus on what needs to be done.  Some things I do for self-care:
 Alright kids, time for your homework assignment... Ok my baby love, This week I want you to take some time for yourself and find out what makes you happy. How do you perform self-care? I would love for you to comment on this post and give me some tips for self-care that I haven't mentioned. I'll be back next week to discuss some new topics but don't worry we will revisit this. Mental health is always on my mind *badum tisss*  Social Media
Thanks for reading and following my "It's Feelings Friday" blog! In the meantime make sure you follow me on all social media for all your Lavynder Lee needs! Instagram: @lavynder_lee TikTok: Thee.Lavynder.Lee
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It's Feelings Friday!
Sex positivity baby! I am absolutely a sex positive feminist! Now I know that you may not be familiar with this term so I will break it down love! Side note: If you aren't familiar with sex positivity, please do your research! I will explain my brand of it below. Intersectional Feminism dictionary.com defines intersectional feminism as: “A movement recognizing that barriers to gender equality vary according to other aspects of a woman’s identity, including age, race, ethnicity, class, and religion, and striving to address a diverse spectrum of women’s issues.” So how does this apply to my brand of sex positive feminism? Keep reading boo! Do what you want with your body babe! My brand of sex positivity is simply this: HAVE AS MUCH SEX (safely and consensually OF COURSE!) AS YOU FUCKING WANT TO! Seriously! Do. The. Thing. As long as you are being safe and all parties involve ENTHUSIASTICALLY CONSENT to the sexy time activities, have at it! Masturbate, watch porn, have group sex! I went to a sex club once and it was a blast (ha! pun unintentionally intended and you're welcome)! You can also be as chaste as you want. If that's your brand of staying true to you and your sexuality, I support you! I basically want ppl to be fully educated on sex and safety. Know how your body works and how your partners' bodies work. Another part of my brand sex positivity is that IDGAF what consenting partners are doing, because it's none of my business. I also fully do not care about what people may think of my sex life. Im here to enlighten, educate, and entertain. If that's not your interest, *whips cape back and dramatically points to an invisible and metaphorical door* there's the door hun!   Big Clit Energy! (No typos boo) Yup. I said it! Big. Clit. Energy! I love sex and I love talking about it. As obsessed with sex as Americans are, a lot of us (older generations) still associate people with high sexual drives as immoral. Sex is just like any part of life like work, parenting, going to school, etc. There are things you know and things you don't. You have some frustrations and some joy. There is always an opportunity to learn! I am very much that person that asks my friends when the last time they had sex was. When was the last time you got your back blown out? In my mommy group in Houston, we talk about our sex lives a lot. It is always entertaining, supportive, and enlightening. We can all learn something positive. Good sex is important not just with a partner(s), but also celebrating your own body and solo orgasms. “But did you cum though?” Is something I say quite often. Friends care about friends’ orgasms. I also don't segregate my conversations based on a persons gender identity. I have learned so much about sex and interpersonal connections through my conversations about sex and intimacy with other people. When you own your sexuality and stay true to yourself, you will be amazed at how it positively impacts your life. Whether that is being celibate, having round the clock trips to pound town, or somewhere in the middle, do you boo. Own your shit! It levels you all the way up to final boss level.  I put a spell on you... Blessed be and Happy Winter Solstice! I celebrated quite a bit and really leaned into my intentions for 2021. Sex magick is something that I have discussed with fellow witches. Yup. I said witch babe. I will absolutely get into that gig in a later post... Winter Solstice is the longest night of the year and around the same time that Winter officially begins. If you are intuitive or empathic or gifted in any way, you may feel an energy or vibrations running through you. I utilized this energy I felt and channeled it through sex with my boyfriend K. It was a beautiful experience and I was vibrating all over even long after we finished. Solstice is also a time for re-birth. To me, that's another way to say time to re-brand. I am so excited you are joining me on my journey to Boss Babe Supreme.  I hope you enjoyed this first chapter in the ever evolving novel of Lavynder! There is DEFINITELY more to cum (ha!)! Don’t forget to subscribe for updates and I will see you next time on “It’s Feelings Friday!” xoxo
It's Feelings Friday!
 She’s Queer honey! What does that mean? Well, Webster’s defines “Queer”as: a person who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, or otherwise not heterosexual. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/queer Why don’t I identify as bisexual? Well, I do I guess... For me, labels aren’t really important. I like who I like. I am attracted to the person not how they identify. Queer for me also works because I will (jokingly) say I am half gay man and half lesbian.  A Tale of 4 Titties (I am so punny!LOL!) I have always been attracted to women. Ironically, I only came out a few years ago. I wasn’t in denial, I just think that labels are overrated. When I finally realized that I was queer, I kind of laughed to myself like “duh girl!” Within the past 2 months, I started seeing this woman. Whoooo Chile! Let me tell you... I am experiencing pleasure like I have never felt before. It’s not even just on a physical level. Being with her is wholly different on an intellectual level as well. We connect emotionally and physically in a way I didn’t think was possible. This is very new for both of us, so we are taking it slow(ish lmao) but so far it has been wonderful. Now here’s where it get’s delicious honey... She is into BDSM and she wants me to be her submissive!! *hold while I put on some pearls to clutch* Lavynder Lee does NOT submit!  Polyamory vs. Monogamy I may be using some terms you are unfamiliar with but baby, get to googling! I am polyamorous. For me, this means I have multiple romantic partners. There is not one size fits all for polyamorous people. Some also describe this as having open relationships. Now, polyamory is not to be confused with polygamy. That is usually the practice of one man with multiple wives for example (heterosexual relationships typically but not always). I was in a (mostly) monogamous relationship for 11 years with my husband, and it was difficult for me. I have always been polyamorous but I didn’t necessarily know it until I started meeting other poly people in Houston. Monogamy is not my jam. The thought of being one person’s EVERYTHING for the rest of my life is a hard pass. It is impossible to be someone’s everything. I will go into my philosophy on this more in other articles.  I hope you enjoyed this first chapter in the ever evolving novel of Lavynder! There is DEFINITELY more to cum (ha!)! Don’t forget to subscribe for updates and I will see you next time on “It’s Feelings Friday!” xoxo
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